All Aboard the Corona-Coaster (Again!)

Once again, we're back in lockdown, or Lockdown 3.0 as it's now known. We're heading into our third week and I don't know about you but this one seems like the hardest one yet. But there's an end in sight? I telepathically hear some of you ask. Yes, there is. But we don't really know when. As the 5pm briefings continue to make an appearance across our tv screens and the BBC news app pings every five minutes, there's no escaping the dramatic effects that COVID is making on our lives.

Yes we have a potentially deadly disease to avoid, so I'm not disputing the decision of the lockdown but the impact that being locked inside is having on our mental and financial health is detrimental.

I'm struggling. My friends are struggling. My family is struggling. And I'm sure, you as a reader are struggling.

That's because once again we've headed for a 'super fun day out' at the new theme park of 2020/1 and jumped on board the most famous rollercoaster of all time... the corona-coaster!

When lockdown was first introduced in 2020, the majority of us were quite happy to have a few weeks off of work. It was kind of fun in a way! The usual monotony of the everyday broken up with, well as it turns out, more monotony. The biggest problem with this lockdown is that we're in the depths of winter and I mean the depths of winter. As the temperature drops below zero in some areas of the UK and our daylight hours are at a minimum, this time around seems so much harder. There's not much money in the bank post Christmas. January and February tend to be fairly quiet on the work front and it's notoriously quite bleak. Throw in the fact that we can't even go round our friends houses for a cheese and wine night and it's pretty much abysmal.

Some days I wake up feeling bright, sunny and positive. Like I said in the beginning, there's an end in sight! People are being vaccinated. Yes, it's still winter but spring will be here soon-ish and the days are starting to stretch out a little longer - it's now light before 8am guys!

On other days I just want to hibernate. Even the Lumie Bodyclock alarm isn't going to pull me out of my cosy bed! Motivation plummets and my most active task is putting the kettle on for the twentieth time that day.

And I know for a fact that the majority of you reading this can relate to the above!

I write this post on Blue Monday, the Monday-est of all Monday's of the year. Funnily enough, I haven't felt that blue today but the weekend just passed I had a stormy, dark cloud above my head for 48 hours which no amount of daily walks and at home workouts could fix.

Weekends in lockdown are where I struggle the most, it's like there's a bottomless pit of time that needs to be filled, the routine that I've tried so hard to build for weekdays rightfully goes out of the window, but there's only so many times you can 'hinch' your tiny two bed flat in one weekend!

It's at the weekends where I feel like I'm wasting my life away and when I feel my mental health decline. It's a constant battle and looks a little like this...

'Maybe I should I do some work?'

'No, it's the weekend'

'Good point, I'll do some reading'

*picks up book*

'Hmmm I wonder if I'll be able to go on holiday this year'

*picks up phone to look at dream locations*

Repeat that over and over again and you get a good glimpse into my brain. If I get too anxious I start to think of the future, where I'm headed, what my income will look like and so many more things that are totally out of my control, it becomes a vicious spiral. I try desperately hard to not let myself dip, but the weekends are when I end up feeling at my loneliest, despite the fact that it's the only time I'm not on my own.

The reason why I write this post is to ensure you that you aren't alone. It's not all sunshine and rainbows and it's totally alright to be feeling all kinds of weird right now. I'm not here to question why Sally has made her 20th banana bread this week and I'm also not here to question why Karen hasn't been online since Friday. We're all doing what works for us right now.

Keep on keeping on. You've got this.

Sophie x

If you're struggling there's some brilliant organisations that you can contact below:

Text SHOUT: 85258 for a 24/7 mental health messaging service

Mind Charity - For tips on how to manage right now