Dating a teacher...

Today the majority of school kids have either already headed back to school or starting their new chapter. Along with many teachers.

Some would say that dating a teacher is one of the best things.

'Yeah but they're great with kids.'

'Think of the childcare when you have children of your own'

'They're kind and patient people'

All true points

But being a primary school teacher widow has its serious downfalls…

Before I nose dive into the negatives. I'm going to start with some of the positives. Seeing S' passion and drive for what he does spurs me on to be a better person. He's extremely good at his job and the effort he puts into his role and the children he teaches, should never be taken for granted. The kids he's taught over the years are extremely lucky to have a teacher that cares so much about their future. I hear too many stories of parents and children that take the time, effort and money that teachers' put into their roles completely for granted and it makes my blood boil - especially when I have to wait to start an episode of Killing Eve because S is late at the school AGAIN. In the UK we are privileged enough to have a free school system and people are unaware of how lucky they are. This following blog post is in jest of my life living with a Primary school teacher.

I used to play 'teachers' when I was in primary school. Making registers. Managing lunch breaks. Teaching maths to my 'pupils' - I'm sure they learnt loads from me! All things I'd picked up from my own teachers. We simply saw the tip of the iceberg when at school ourselves.

The marking, oh god, the marking. My living room often looks like a Scholastic Book Fair with the amount of exercise books all over the floor. Hours and hours are spent checking every fine detail of a nine-year-old's creative writing, their ability to do fractions (don't waste your time kids) and whether they can spell Timbuktu. I have had many an evening where in my open plan living space we haven't said a word to each other. The concentration is real. And then you have the kid that decides to not write their name on the test paper, or stick the piece of work in their book. So we're scrambling around the flat and the car to see if the paper has been lost or it's the child's fault.

The money. Despite the adverts from the government, teachers, like the rest of the public sector are not being paid enough money for what they do. If S worked in the private sector he would be earning at least double for the time and effort he puts into his role. As we know, and I mentioned earlier, we're lucky to have free schools and healthcare in the UK and for that I'm eternally grateful. We're all aware that they've had their fair share of cuts but that often gets forgotten. S has often had to pump his own money into the classroom because unfortunately the facilities just aren't there to give children what they need.

Children are complex. Being a teacher in the UK doesn't mean you're just a teacher. You're now a parent. A mentor. A mental health expert. A nurse. A friend. A social media expert. A gamer. And every child's needs are different. In the past it was easier to brush problems at home under the carpet. It was easier to control issues in the playground. With great advances in technology come great problems. What happens in school, no longer stays at school and bullying is on the rise. It comes from all angles. As a teacher you have to deal with the emotions of children and what was said over Xbox or on Snapchat the night before. Technically not the teacher's problem or a school matter, but it causes upset constantly. As a teacher, you have to know what the trends are out of school. What and how social media platforms work. You wear multiple hats at one time.

The holidays. A luxurious break or hell on earth? Six weeks is too long for kids and adults to be off of work. There's a misconception that teachers have so much time off and they're being lazy during those 13 weeks. It couldn't be further from the truth. The majority of the holidays are taken up with planning and marking for the following term. Teachers still go into the school during the holidays, particularly primary teachers to make their classrooms a enjoyable environment to be in. So basically, they're not swanning off for 6 weeks of sunshine, because LOL holiday prices are ridiculous. We're lucky if we get five days away in the sun. And do not get me started on parents taking their kids out of school to save £100. A teacher still has to pay for the extortionate holiday prices and can't skip the last week of term 'to save a bit of cash'.

The other teachers. I've met some lovely people through S, honestly so kind. But similarly to any other type of career, if you're not in it, you have absolutely no idea what's being spoken about. What is SEN?* What is PPA?** It's a little world that I know 1% of and being surrounded by teachers often leaves you feeling pretty muddled.

The working hours are insane. For S it's an average of 75 hours per week. Utter, utter madness. I know for a fact that there aren't many jobs in the private sector that you'd work that many hours in one week. If you did you'd get a hefty pay packet to make up for it. It's common for teachers to end up together because understand the work load and the stresses & strains. Some of which I will never fully understand. However, it's taught me to be more patient.

All in all I only have myself to blame. When it came to S finishing his uni degree, he was caught between whether to train in a primary or secondary school. I convinced him to take the easier route (there aren't enough male teachers in primary schools) with the harder work output.

I'm immensely proud of his success. If no one believed the phrase that 'hard work pays off' he proves it. If there are any parents reading this, I hope you can understand the effort that goes into your child's education and the effect it can have on teachers' personal lives.

Big love to the teachers and other roles that make this world a better place. Your effort and daily risks don't go unnoticed.

Sophie x

*Special Educational Needs
** Planning Preparation & Assessment